A big part of this journey is going to be my steps on the path toward healthier living. The sad thing is that I really had a great handle on it for a very long time. From March 2007 to March 2008, I lost about 40 pounds. I went from a size 20 (verging on 22) to a size 16 (verging on 14). I was at the gym four mornings a week and hit my yoga mat for a class almost every every Monday night. I felt great. I even finished a couple of 5K races which, for a complete and total non-runner, was a gigantic achievement.
Then, life got in the way. I took on a new role in June of 2008...chairing the local merchant group in the community in which I work. With that came a position on another local board. I was thrilled to be taking part in doing good things for the community, thereby doing good things for the non-profit organization I manage. However, it suddenly felt as though I had an early morning meeting every other day, making it more difficult for me to get to the gym in the morning. Honestly, who has time to hit the treadmill when there is a city tree lighting festival to be planned?
After a summer of maintaining my weight loss (not without struggle, mind you) in October of 2008, life whipped up a perfect storm. It was my daughters' third Halloween (they were two) and the first year that they had come up with their own costume ideas. One wanted to be a bumblebee, and the other wanted to be...wait for it...Spookley, the Square Pumpkin. Now, if your two-year-old daughter's Halloween is going to be ruined if she can't be Spookley (a costume, not surprisingly, unavailable for purchase anywhere in the universe) and you're a crafty gal like me, by God, you are going to make that costume if it kills you. And, if you are making an awesome costume for one two-year-old, a store-bought costume for her twin sister simply will not do. Am I right?
That same month, my husband's grandfather became very ill and was placed into hospice care. Between work, visiting hospice, and staying up until all hours finishing Halloween costumes (and don't forget about planning that tree lighting festival), I came down with a horrible cold.
Grandpa passed away on October 27 and the funeral was on Halloween. There were arrangements to be made and family members to console. However, there were still Halloween costumes to be made and little girls to tend to. That was all it took to throw me completely off course. Mid-October 2008 was the last time I visited the gym with any regularity and, to be honest, I have probably only been there five or six times since then.
When I was riding high on the wave of frequent workouts and healthy eating habits and people would ask me about my success, I would tell them, "You just have to be ever-vigilant. Don't let down your guard...not even for a minute." It was amazing to me how quickly and easily seventeen months of work and determination could begin to unravel.
Fast forward to today and why this long back story matters. In the 17 months since then, life has gotten busier, work has become more demanding, and I have successfully regained about 25 of those 40 pounds...and, quite frankly, I'm pissed off about it. I hate the fact that my clothes don't fit the way I'd like them to, I hate the way I look, and I'm disappointed in myself for losing my way. Even more importantly, I'm saddened by the way I've allowed outside forces to convince me that it's okay for me to put myself on the back burner. I miss that "me time" on the treadmill and at my yoga mat. I know that if I am going to get happy, getting fit needs to be a major part of my journey.
Okay, long story short (too late, I know)...I will post my weight here at least once a week in an effort to keep myself on track But, as part of my Happy Mommy Project, I am officially releasing the baggage associated with story detailed above...you know, the anger and feeling like a failure. I am starting starting over again but, as a positive, that means starting fresh. It's clean slate time!
So, what's the skinny? Today, the scale read 208.6. I've got a long way to go.
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